Good-boy gone bad??

My bro Irishman, tells me about this rave he went to.......and that he was ashamed when he had to come back home to his "ultra-conservative parents" and how everyone went into silence-mode and there was the awkward-morning-after.....and how he felt sad that he had tarnished-the-family-name & not done justice to the value system in which he was raised blah blah(tragic quotes about how "life seems meaningless" true to his dramatic personality)......and went on to describe how he had been brought up traditionally according to sanskriti n parampara and had been a "good-boy" all his life of 21yrs and how he sometimes felt stifled and wanted to break-free but also doesn't wanna do it @ the cost of hurting/offending his folks.

This one goes out to him....(n other lost souls facing a gargantuan-dilemma the first moral-crisis of their lives)

Hi....Irishman,

that's a pretty common problem.....in fact our whole generation is caught in a wierd struggle between family values ...the Bharatiya culture thats awesome.....respect parents et al.....atithi-devo-bhava et al.....n on the other hand......pop-culture from banana-republics ...trying to market its idea of a McBurger eating cola-swiigiin bar-hopping generation where u have to drink to be "cool".......personally i think its crazy n just tooo wannabe.....to get wastedd!!.....get high on life instead!

But as u do realise that strain it requires both ur parents n u to break their shackles of conventions and accept who u are .........

Step1: first u have to accept urself that u are a guy who's ok with drinkin and also respects his family n cares about what they think.....

Step2: now that u have realised, u need to make ur parents understand that i may have a drink.....but that does not equate to the fact that i respect u less....and u do follow protocol, so i'm sure they'll understand. When i say this i do not saythat u roll-in-stone-drunk and expect ur parents to understand.......u know where to draw the limits between a tipple and a swig-too-many....:) catch my drift.....

Step3 : u n ur parents coexist mutually in a symbiotic society...where u can share ur feeling without inhibitions or awkwardness....like oops...what do i tel them...what will they think of me?...and the worst..... am i being a good son?.... n so on.

keeping secrets lead to miscommunication n suspicion. Had u told ur parents the first day that u drank yes they would feel bad, but u also would win brownie points for credibility n honesty.....not to mention respect.....:)

Which doesn't go on to mean that u brag-about ur bacchanalian-escapades @ the dinner table......but rather in a more subtle-yet-firm manner conveying that u know the difference between getting wasted and having "a drink"....and u hold ur family values in high esteem.

Be a bit sensitive and accomodate ur parents ...their initial jitters and uncomfortableness in talking to u....also telling them that u'd rather tell them bout having a beer than have it on the sly and fake that sobriety.